


In Case You Don't Live Forever

by DespairingPrinceZagreus



Category: The Politician (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, Sickfic, Suicide Attempt, Suicide mention, failed suicide, hobarkley, river/payton, sick-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DespairingPrinceZagreus/pseuds/DespairingPrinceZagreus
Summary: In which River's suicide attempt failed, and Payton chooses to follow what he really feels over what he thinks he has to feel. Named after a Ben Platt song :)
Relationships: River Barkley/Payton Hobart
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	In Case You Don't Live Forever

**Author's Note:**

> This one is shorter than what I normally write because ironically I wrote this while I, too, was sick lol

After River’s failed suicide attempt, Payton sat him down and they had a very long talk, mostly about their feelings for each other, and River’s sense of hopelessness. Lots of tears were shed that day, and Payton had honestly been scared to leave River alone since. It all moved so fast- River had said he loved Payton, then put a gun to his head. He pulled the trigger, but had left the safety switch on, which created enough time for Payton to wrestle the gun from his and throw it onto the floor, then slide it across the room with his foot. It was a matter of seconds, and even days later, as Payton sits in his bed on his laptop, he’s still rattled.

He’s not doing much- just working and pretending he isn’t worried about River. He’s running a fever and his head’s foggy; he can’t think clearly, and so can’t get a whole lot done. He’s just trying to get his campaign together, because it’s a mess post-Skye. He’s emailing McAfee and James and Alice simultaneously, and he’s starting to get overwhelmed just as one River Barkley decides to pay him a visit. “If it isn’t Payton Hobart, hard at work as always.” Payton looks up from his laptop at River- his voice brought a smile to his face no matter what the circumstances were, and he was glad to have the weight of concern off his shoulders for a little bit. River’s here, and he’s in one piece. It had only been a day or so since they’d last spoken, and they’d kissed then, but he missed River. Always.

There’s a few seconds of silence before Payton finally speaks as he looks back at his laptop. “Skye really made a mess of my campaign. Now I’ve got a bunch of stuff to sort out.” his voice is hoarse and quiet, likely a result of the sore throat he was refusing to admit was a problem. “You okay?” River questions him as he sits on the edge of the bed. “You look and sound terrible.” Payton almost doesn’t register that he’s being spoken to, and there’s a moment in which he just stares at his laptop screen and his half-finished email to James. “...Huh?” Payton finally realizes River was talking to him and looks to his left at his taller companion. River chuckles, shaking his head. “I asked if you’re feeling alright.” Payton furrows his brows, looking down a little bit as he answers. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” River reaches over and puts his knuckles to Payton’s forehead and sighs, pulling his hand back. “...Do you have a thermometer? You’re burning up.” Payton shakes his head, not in denial of having a thermometer- obviously they did. He didn’t want River to worry about him. It was finally time for River to focus on helping himself, because he really needed it. He shouldn’t have to worry about Payton being sick. Plus, he’d feel like more of a burden, even despite knowing River taking care of him would come from a place of love, and that he would want to make sure he’s okay. “...It’s fine, River. Your mental health matters more to me than my physical health. It’s just a cold, anyway, I’ll be okay.” 

“No, it doesn’t. You matter just as much as I do. It feels like you’re running a fever. Please, lay down and take a break. Just for tonight.” Payton sighs and looks back at River with defeat written all over his face, then closes his laptop and lays down. River runs his hand over Payton’s hair in an attempt to comfort him somehow, and to his surprise it actually works. Payton closes his eyes and exhales, and River continues playing with his hair. “...I don’t deserve you, River.” RIver smiles, then leans down and kisses him on the forehead. ‘...You do, Payton. You honestly deserve more than I’m sure I can even provide.” Payton gives a quiet chuckle as he shakes his head in disagreement. 

River lays down, and Payton protests right away.”River, I’ll get you sick. Go sleep over there on the loveseat.” River laughs, turning on his side and draping his arm over Payton. He’s not going anywhere. “You’re worth getting sick for.” Payton feels his cheeks burn a little. He convinces himself it’s because he’s sick. “I love you, Payton. If keeping you company when you’re not feeling well means I myself will get sick…” he runs his hand over Payton’s hair again. “...Then that’s a price I’m willing to pay.” River smiles and pulls Payton close, and when he turns over on his side to face him, he presses another gentle kiss to Payton’s forehead. 

“I love you too, River.”


End file.
